{"id":2571,"date":"2016-10-17T14:18:58","date_gmt":"2016-10-17T18:18:58","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/dansdigitaldive.com\/web\/?p=2571"},"modified":"2016-10-22T16:18:30","modified_gmt":"2016-10-22T20:18:30","slug":"am-i-smarter-than-the-waffle-machine","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/dansdigitaldive.com\/web\/archives\/2571","title":{"rendered":"Am I smarter than the waffle iron?"},"content":{"rendered":"
\"The
The evil waffle iron<\/figcaption><\/figure>\n

Recently, the bosslady and I have been on the road. \u00a0I’ll give more details on the trip in another post later. \u00a0But today, I’d like to concentrate on the evils of waffle machines. \u00a0Sure, they look innocent…but they are really evil.<\/p>\n

The machine in question was found in Greensboro, NC. \u00a0It looked harmless enough, and it seemed pretty simple to operate it. \u00a0As a guy with at least one operating brain cell, how hard can this be?<\/p>\n

The premise behind the self serve waffle iron is simple. \u00a0Let the hotel “guests” have the pleasure of making their own Belgium style waffles.<\/p>\n

It seems simple in theory, what could possibly go wrong?<\/p>\n

    \n
  1. Pour batter into a small cup from large dispenser.<\/li>\n
  2. Spray the waffle iron with lubricant (Pam oil).<\/li>\n
  3. Pour batter from cup into waffle iron.<\/li>\n
  4. close the lid (timer starts).<\/li>\n
  5. flip the waffle iron over 180 degrees.<\/li>\n
  6. Enjoy a tasty waffle.<\/li>\n<\/ol>\n

    Simple right? \u00a0Wrong. \u00a0First the premise of these machines is all wrong. \u00a0Waffle irons are not there so the “guests” can have the, and I quote, the “pleasure,” of making one’s own waffle, they are there for the amusement of all the other folks in the breakfast area watching me make a waffle.<\/p>\n

    I had no problem with steps 1-4. \u00a0When it came to step 5 however, I missed a key tidbit of information. \u00a0This evil machine was not secured for sea. \u00a0When I tried to flip over the waffle iron, the entire machine moved to and fro. \u00a0Getting ever more frustrated I used more force; which had the affect of throwing waffle batter everywhere, the iron still not flipping properly.<\/p>\n

    Finally, a staff member came to rescue me. \u00a0She placed the waffle iron into it’s holder and…voila, it turned right over. \u00a0Obviously she was part of the waffle iron’s evil plan! \u00a0Finally I was able to move on to step 6.<\/p>\n

    I did get to enjoy a tasty waffle, complete with a big slice of humble pie. \u00a0Everyone else in the breakfast area got a good laugh.<\/p>\n

    So, what did I learn, two things.<\/p>\n

      \n
    1. Have a cup of coffee BEFORE making a waffle.<\/li>\n
    2. Watch a 5 year old make a waffle before you attempt one yourself. \u00a0Waffle irons like kids. \u00a0Watch how the kids do it, and if you’re still uncomfortable; ask a kid to make it, let them have the “pleasure” of making the waffle.<\/li>\n<\/ol>\n

      In summary: I am NOT smarter than the waffle iron. \u00a0My two little brain cells failed me miserably that morning! \u00a0Enjoy everyone, and let’s be safe out there.<\/p>\n

      PS: The asshole of the month for October is: the evil waffle iron.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

      Recently, the bosslady and I have been on the road. \u00a0I’ll give more details on the trip in another post later. \u00a0But today, I’d like to concentrate on the evils of waffle machines. \u00a0Sure, they look innocent…but they are really … Continued<\/a><\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":2,"featured_media":2572,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"kt_blocks_editor_width":"","jetpack_post_was_ever_published":false,"_jetpack_newsletter_access":"","_jetpack_dont_email_post_to_subs":true,"_jetpack_newsletter_tier_id":0,"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paywalled_content":false,"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paid_content":false,"footnotes":"","jetpack_publicize_message":"","jetpack_publicize_feature_enabled":true,"jetpack_social_post_already_shared":true,"jetpack_social_options":{"image_generator_settings":{"template":"highway","default_image_id":0,"font":"","enabled":false},"version":2}},"categories":[49,8,16,7],"tags":[61,60,56,105,114],"class_list":["post-2571","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","category-aom","category-life","category-rants-raves","category-travel","tag-diy","tag-simple-2","tag-stupid","tag-travel","tag-weekendcoffeeshare"],"jetpack_publicize_connections":[],"jetpack_featured_media_url":"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/dansdigitaldive.com\/web\/wp-content\/uploads\/2016\/10\/waffles.jpg?fit=550%2C366&ssl=1","jetpack_sharing_enabled":true,"jetpack-related-posts":[{"id":2472,"url":"https:\/\/dansdigitaldive.com\/web\/archives\/2472","url_meta":{"origin":2571,"position":0},"title":"Book Review: Managing Stakeholders as Clients","author":"DR D","date":"September 21, 2016","format":false,"excerpt":"Recently I had the opportunity to read the book: \"Managing Stakeholders as Clients\" by Mario H. Trentim. \u00a0The book, published by PMI was well written, and I present my review as a PDU requirement. As the title in the forward states, the book aids in adding value and organizational success\u2026","rel":"","context":"In "PDU"","block_context":{"text":"PDU","link":"https:\/\/dansdigitaldive.com\/web\/archives\/category\/life\/pdu"},"img":{"alt_text":"","src":"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/images-na.ssl-images-amazon.com\/images\/I\/51-cOg4kY2L._SX348_BO1%2C204%2C203%2C200_.jpg?resize=350%2C200&ssl=1","width":350,"height":200},"classes":[]},{"id":1016,"url":"https:\/\/dansdigitaldive.com\/web\/archives\/1016","url_meta":{"origin":2571,"position":1},"title":"An experiment in Timesharing: 2013 Timeshare Journey – July","author":"DR D","date":"June 7, 2013","format":false,"excerpt":"The end of June we made a switch. We didn't go to Branson, deciding instead to stay one more week in Farmington. With our added stay in Farmington, it increased our June cost, the new cost is $1417, which is higher than the $1280 we initially planned for. We find\u2026","rel":"","context":"In "Timeshares"","block_context":{"text":"Timeshares","link":"https:\/\/dansdigitaldive.com\/web\/archives\/category\/travel\/timeshare"},"img":{"alt_text":"","src":"","width":0,"height":0},"classes":[]},{"id":814,"url":"https:\/\/dansdigitaldive.com\/web\/archives\/814","url_meta":{"origin":2571,"position":2},"title":"How do you organize your bills?","author":"DR D","date":"December 13, 2012","format":false,"excerpt":"Ok...I admit it; I have a problem. No, it's not what you think, there is no 10 step program that will fix this. I have \"ma\u00f1ana\". I'm not sure when I contracted it, but I have it bad. It has begun to interfere with my home life. The boss lives\u2026","rel":"","context":"In "Household"","block_context":{"text":"Household","link":"https:\/\/dansdigitaldive.com\/web\/archives\/category\/household"},"img":{"alt_text":"","src":"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/dansdigitaldive.com\/web\/wp-content\/uploads\/2012\/12\/silas-and-wine-225x300.jpg?resize=350%2C200","width":350,"height":200},"classes":[]},{"id":1145,"url":"https:\/\/dansdigitaldive.com\/web\/archives\/1145","url_meta":{"origin":2571,"position":3},"title":"Wyndham Skyline Tower – Atlantic City","author":"DR D","date":"November 2, 2013","format":false,"excerpt":"Good morning boys and girls.\u00a0 Last weekend saw the boss lady and I in Atlantic City, NJ.\u00a0 We stayed at the Wyndham Skyline Tower, near the Resorts Casino. I was talking to my one and only faithful ready; yep, my cat.\u00a0 Anyway, he said I should write a review of\u2026","rel":"","context":"In "Timeshares"","block_context":{"text":"Timeshares","link":"https:\/\/dansdigitaldive.com\/web\/archives\/category\/travel\/timeshare"},"img":{"alt_text":"","src":"","width":0,"height":0},"classes":[]},{"id":1058,"url":"https:\/\/dansdigitaldive.com\/web\/archives\/1058","url_meta":{"origin":2571,"position":4},"title":"An experiment in Timesharing: 2013 Timeshare Journey – Questions…","author":"DR D","date":"June 14, 2013","format":false,"excerpt":"Good afternoon.\u00a0 I recently received feedback from a couple who are actually living my dream - living full time in a timeshare, M&E. M&E, My co-workers and a few others have also hit me up with questions\/comments and I am curious what others think. I do not want to go\u2026","rel":"","context":"In "Timeshares"","block_context":{"text":"Timeshares","link":"https:\/\/dansdigitaldive.com\/web\/archives\/category\/travel\/timeshare"},"img":{"alt_text":"","src":"","width":0,"height":0},"classes":[]},{"id":1022,"url":"https:\/\/dansdigitaldive.com\/web\/archives\/1022","url_meta":{"origin":2571,"position":5},"title":"An experiment in Timesharing: 2013 Timeshare Journey – Trailer and other various equipment","author":"DR D","date":"May 31, 2013","format":false,"excerpt":"Good afternoon, today were discussing how the timesharing idea was progressing. Quickly we figured that I'd need more luggage space. As a result we had a discussion about trailers, and what type would be best for my little journey. 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